Letters for the Lost Ones
by penchou
Summary: "But we're a million worlds apart, and I don't know how I would even start." / Even the nameless and less known soldiers have people they care for behind the walls, hoping and praying that they'd come back home; Or a collection of short simple letters of people sent to the lives that were lost outside the walls.
1. Dear Maris

Dear Maris,

I don't know what the exact time is right now, but heck, all I know it's late right now and I should be in bed but I'm writing this because I couldn't stop thinking.

I find it funny because you know how much I suck at expressing myself and now here I am, writing it out. You'd probably be proud of me if you ever knew I took up your advice on writing out my feelings and thoughts. That is, if you ever received this.

First off, I'm sorry for whatever stupid things I have written here because it's late, early morning to be exact, and I blame my sleep deprived mind for it. So, advance sorry on it. I suck at this, I'm sure of it.

Hey, it's been so long since we last saw each other. I hope you're doing fine, I guess? I mean, you're very strong and reliant for someone short as you but you can really get things your way. I really liked that about you.

It's been pretty boring here without you. I missed your cooking, you know. Everyday it's always just a measly plain wheat bread and just a portion of baked potatoes from the public market in the morning and our daughter kept complaining about eating the same food almost everyday. Khaled has been doing pretty great at school too, these days. She keeps showing me perfect marks for her quizzes, smart little girl she is. You know she misses you so much, right?

One time, she asked me when you were coming home. I was busy chopping the vegetables for our supper, Khaled still sticks her tongue out when she sees me prepares the veggies, wonder where she got that from, when she said that. My poor heart almost gave up as I almost sliced my fingers from the blade. Surprised, yes, I was, for she was slightly tugging at the hem of my shirt. Of course, I would almost cut myself though if you're wondering. I'm fine. I got my hands in control before I accidentally hurt myself.

She looked at me with those puppy eyes, obviously I couldn't keep myself when she does that. Khaled is just so cute, just like you. Anyways, I had to tell her you had to be away. _"But why?"_ she pouted at me. Haha… I found myself in a dead end.

I said, _"Your mommy has to keep the monsters away."_ lightly rubbing her cheek as I knelt down to her height.

She didn't respond immediately to me. Wondering what I meant, I could say she was. All I know is that she had this look of sadness in her eyes and I knew then that she misses you greatly.

Maris, do you miss us? Do you miss me? Well, I do. Your daughter misses you. We miss you.

I know that you're really set on the Legion, I mean, I'm not saying that I don't want that for you. I truly respect your decision but sometimes I just think that if ever the time comes, when our daughter comes homes without a mother and a mourning father, how would I be able to bring ourselves up. I'm afraid. Afraid that we might lose you. I know that you're risking this for the great of humanity, and I really loved that about you. I really do.

But I'm just hoping and praying that you'd come home, safe and sound.

Since, it's really late and I still have work to do later, this might be goodbye for now. See you when I see you.

Also, always remember that I love you.

Sincerely yours,

Harris


	2. sender unknown

_(Notes: Discarded letter number XX, retrieved from Archived files of Survey Corps in Year 8XX. Sender unknown, recipient unknown._

 _Additional notes: Under the authorization of Commander Smith, this is requested not to be thrown out.)_

* * *

 ** _?_**

 _There are a lot of things I should have told you. There are a lot of things I should have shown you. There are a lot of things I should have done. There are a lot of times I should have been there for you._

 _There should have been but I did not._

 _There are times where I feel like dying. Like I'm drowning myself in my own sorrows and misery. I'm falling, falling deeper and deeper into despair. I'm drowning, falling, suffocating and more._

 _I'm dying._

 _Desperately so._

 _I'm dying for your touch. For the sight of you. I'm dying for your smile. I'm dying to hear the heavenly lilt of your gentle voice as you call out my name that used to make my heart flutter so. I'm dying for your warm presence, for your acceptance and for your reciprocation. Most of all, I'm dying for your love._

 _I'm lonely._

 _I'm despairing._

 _I'm depressed._

 _I'm mourning._

 _I'm grieving._

 _I'm sorry._

 _I miss you._

 _I miss you so much, it hurts. I miss you so much it stains my insides knowing that you are not here with me. I miss you so much it makes me want to die. I miss you so much I just want to cry, want to see you, want to talk to you. I miss you so much yet here I am doing nothing._

 _I miss you so much, the nights aren't so peaceful anymore. I cry myself to sleep knowing I have lost the person who meant so much to me. I cry to myself knowing that I have lost someone who I held so close to my heart. I cry myself to sleep knowing that I have lost you._

 _Worst of all, I cry myself to sleep knowing that there's no changing that._

 ** _-?_**


End file.
